dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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