She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
