had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
