i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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