He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
