He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You can't just leave with hair like that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
