I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
