So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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