12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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