at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
