It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
