How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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