The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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