Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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