you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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