as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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