Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she smelled like a LAN party
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
