I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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