OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
