Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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