you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
