ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
