I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
