so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
