I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've blown a few things in my day
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize