what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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