i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
