apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
