Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
