Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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