I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
