Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
