Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
