you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
