I wish I could teleport
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
