ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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