I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
