Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
