I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
