I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
