Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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