We won't sleep together?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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