I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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