The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
