I am puke
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
