i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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