What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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