it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
