They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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