you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
